Relapse
by savetoniqht
Summary: When Ellie feels like she may be slipping back into an old habit, she turns to the one person she has always been able to count on. Ellie/Marco friendship, NOT romantic.


My first Degrassi fic… just a short one-shot. I love Ellie and Ellie stories, and I love this plotline and I think it was way underdeveloped.  
Also, in this story Marco and Ellie still live together because them separating was the saddest thing ever.  


* * *

Ellie sighed as she delicately twirled the pink safety razor between her fingers. She didn't bother to wipe the tears that dripped down her face as images of her mother passed out on the couch swirled around her mind mercilessly. Liver cirrhosis. She should have known it would come eventually. With all the alcohol her mother consumed on a daily basis there was no way her body would be able to handle it forever. No matter how much pain Ellie's mother had put her through, Ellie was unable to let her go. She was still her mother, and now she wouldn't be for long.

Her wrist was already raw and red from the elastic bands she had been snapping, but with no blood bubbling at the surface of the wound she couldn't get the same release. She stared down at the patch of skin she had subconsciously uncovered. Her "relapse spot," as she called it. Her therapist assured her it was normal—like drinking, it was an addiction she wouldn't be able to stop cold turkey. She had six cuts there, the only six times she had slipped since she stopped; the last one just barely healed from the Jesse and Caitlin hookup.

Ellie jumped as she felt the sharp blade of the razor just knick the skin on her index finger. She observed the flap of skin that resulted as she reveled in the pain. All of a sudden the urge was too strong—that pain was such a tease; pain, no blood. Before she could stop herself she cracked the blade out of that prison of the pink plastic and slashed her skin. Number seven. Suddenly the reality of what she had just done hit her and she dropped the razor. She reached forward and ripped off a square of toilet paper, and was about to press it to the cut when her eyes fell on the blood and she stared, captivated.

As she was about to grasp the blade in her hand again, she pulled her hand back as if the blade would reach out and rip her hand off. Before she could stop herself she reached onto the counter and picked up her phone, hitting her first speed dial button and calling the one person she had ever truly been able to count on.  


* * *

Marco laughed as Eric finished recounting a story about his days working at his camp.

"I can't believe—" Marco began before his phone began ringing. Glancing down at it he saw it was Ellie. He almost avoided it, and would have had it been anyone else, but what if she were in trouble? He gestured at Eric to wait a second before flipping open his phone.

"Hey El, what's up?" he asked, glancing at Eric and shrugging.

"M-Marco?" she asked in a tiny voice, causing Marco to turn his attention fully to the phone. He'd only heard her sound so tiny and weak once, the first time she had told him about her cutting.

"I need you… I mean, if you're not busy… I just, I…" she continued, her voice wavering but growing stronger as she spoke.

Marco stood up as he answered. He didn't want to leave Eric, but Ellie was scaring him with how upset she sounded. "I'll be right there, El, you at the house?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she whispered, so that he had to practically strain to hear her. He closed his phone after he heard the click on her end and turned back to Eric, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Eric, I'm sorry… that was Ellie, she's really upset. I just need to make sure she's okay. Can we catch up later?"

Eric sighed, but shrug. "Sure, Marco. I'll call you tomorrow."

Marco nodded and turned around without a second look.  


* * *

Marco felt the heaviness as he entered the house. He had sprinted all the way back, worried about what he would find. He knew Ellie had stopped cutting—she wore short sleeves all the time, her scars having faded to hardly visible—and she promised him. He still couldn't help worrying though.

"Ellie?" He called as she shut the door behind him.

"In the bathroom," he just barely heard her respond.

"Ellie, what's going on?" Marco asked as he ran up to the bathroom. He froze as he stepped through the doorway. There, sitting against the shower was the tiny redhead he considered his best friend, with blood pooling on a cut on her hip, a broken safety razor case on the floor next to her, and a blade next to that. "El…" he whispered as he stepped closer.

He grabbed some toilet paper as he stepped forward and pressed it on her cut before pulling her into his arms and holding, pulling her onto his lap and stroking her hair.

"El, what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked as he pulled back the bloody toilet paper to inspect the cut. It wasn't too deep and there wasn't too much blood, but it was more the principle that she cut again, and what made her do it, that concerned him.

"My mom has liver cirrhosis," she just barely whispered. "She's dying."

Marco wrapped his arms tighter around his best friend and held on. "Shh, it's okay, Ellie. I'm here, I'm here for you. You don't need your razor, you have me."

He pulled the paper away again and stared at her hip, where there were seven cuts evenly lined up. "What are these, Ellie? You're cutting again?" He reached forward and gently grazed his hand over them. Some of them were scars, but more recent than her old ones. One was a healing cut and the last one was obviously brand new. "I thought you stopped."

"I did," she responded, "but it's not that easy. I slip up sometimes, but only these seven times since I stopped. I just… I didn't want to. I didn't mean to. I want to stop Marco, I just… I needed you."

He smiled lightly as he pulled her into a hug and brushed away the tears that were falling down her face.

"It's okay, Ellie. I'm here, you have me. I'll always be here."

She finally pulled away and looked back up at him, a small smile on her lips even as tears glazed her eyes. "I know Marco. I love you."

He smiled back at her and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I love you too, El. Forever."

* * *

Obviously the end is friendship love, but they weren't going to be like "as a friend." Just clarifying, Marco is obviously gay:)


End file.
